Here I go............again.

I'm no newbie to yoyo diets, weight loss shakes (which make me shake, quite literally), Atkins, Weight Watchers, The Biggest Loser, P90X (seriously?!?), 1000 calories, Ally, Bontril, Adapex, cabbage soup,The Grapefruit Diet, and the list goes on and on and on. I've been overweight most of my life, I lost about 60 pounds in high school and looked and felt the best I'd ever felt up until that point. I quickly gained it back and have kept about 150 extra pounds packed on for all of my adult life. Oh, and I've spent more money on gym memberships than I care to admit, once signing up for a year at Curves only to use it about two months. I hated every month when they debited that $39 because I knew my fat behind wasn't going again that month. I am SO over this whole situation.

I have two beautiful children whom I love dearly and I am desperate to change so that I don't have to live like this anymore. I'm so sick and tired of being sick and tired.  Now that I'm finished whining and complaining, I'll list the facts. LOL!

I'm 31 years old, 5'11" tall (you carry your weight so well!! UGH!) and *gulp* XXX lbs. (I've never actually told another soul that number.) I decided January of 2012 that I was done being fat and started to try to change my life. I lost 30 pounds down to XXXish. I promptly gained it all about around May of 2012. Well, then I spent the better part of the next seven months feeling sorry for myself and went about the business of gaining back the 30 that I'd lost. So, January 2013 I found myself again resolving to lose the weight and weighed in at a hefty XXX pounds. I joined an AMAZING gym and have lost exactly 20 pounds as of right now. Seriously, it's taken me SIX months to lose a 20 measly pounds. That's pathetic. Overall I'm VERY healthy, I have no high blood pressure issues, I have no blood sugar issues, and my thyroid is healthy as a horse. I literally have no excuse for being so fat.

I go to Zumba, Kickboxing, Spin, and I try to walk two miles a couple days a week. Recently my work schedule changed drastically and cut out all my kickboxing classes (my favorite), and my morning walking (I have an awesome walking partner) but I should still be able to go to Zumba and Spin two to three times a week. Now, before everyone suggests a different gym, I live in a TINY town in South Georgia and I already have to drive one town over just get to a gym that offers these types of classes and they're only offered certain days at certain times. There literally is no other choice. I adore my gym (2 Xtreme Physiques) and I love the instructors even more! They push me because they know I'm capable of more and more.
Food. What to say about food. I have a love hate relationship with food. I love to eat. Lord, how I love to eat. Now, when people typically see someone that's my size, they automatically think that we pull up a plate to the buffet and just eat out of a serving spoon, and that's actually not the case. I try to eat in moderation, especially since I've started trying to lose this weight again. I'm trying to stick to around 1800 calories a day, mostly chicken, fish and pork, trying to steer clear of beef and carbs. Clearly, that's not working. I do not care for sweets much, every once in a while I'll indulge in homemade cookies, but mostly I like salty foods. I can tear through some tater chips quick.

So, overall, I've written this sad novel because I need help. I don't know what I'm doing wrong, but obviously something is not working. My gym offers nutrition coaching, but I haven't tried it yet.  I'm lost in a sea of fat thighs and jiggly bellies!